How to Really Love Someone

How to Really Love Someone

Love is a word that people seem to throw around easy, but they never really seem to know what it means. Just because you have strong feelings for someone it doesn’t mean that you are in love. You may want to see this person happy and that is because love is more than a feeling, it is an action.

When you really love someone, it means that you want to care for them and see good things happen to them. You want to do things for them without having strings attached. You want to love them unconditionally.

Here are some ideas about love:


You cannot love someone if you do not know who they are. You can offer your love to them, but you cannot really love them. If you want to love someone, you have to learn to listen to them. Learn to pay attention o what they are saying and do not be distracted by things such as work or your phone.

Stay connected to this person and engage in the conversation with them.


Use your words to tell someone how you feel. We don’t always listen enough, and we don’t always say what we need to say or engage with people.

Tell your partner how much you care about them and that you appreciate them. Doing this can be powerful and it can cause you to have special moments with the person that you are sharing your time with.

Thanking Them

Thank someone that has been there for you and you will see how much your relationship grows. Showing gratitude to someone can cause them to be closer to you and to want to be around you.

Appreciating who your partner is, is as important as appreciating what they do for you.


Show your partner that you are interested in what they are saying to you and what they feel. Find things that you need to pay attention to and do it. Do not fail to respond to them and do not connect to everything but them. Ask them about their day and really listen.


When you are paying attention to someone you love, you will know what they want and what they need. If your partner is stressed, see what you can do to help them. Try to help them relax and feel better.

Doing small things can show your partner that you really care about them. Be observant to them and chances are you will see that they have dropped cues as to what is going on inside of them. They will feel good that you are listening.

Do Favors

Make your partner the center of your world and be involved with them. Do things that are small like living notes on the mirror or helping them.

If your partner had a bad day, pick up food for dinner or do their laundry. Help them to have more time to relax by helping them with tasks.

Do something that they like to do like go for a walk with them or wash their car.


Physical affection is important in all relationships. Hold their hand, hug them, kiss them. Do whatever your partner likes.

Be intimate in your relationship and this will allow you to be close to your partner.


Take time each day to spend quality time with your partner. Be intentional with them and be present when they talk to you. Connect with them as a couple.

Do things that are active in your relationship such as cook a meal or go for a walk together. Talk to each other without phones at the table. Do experiences that will make you closer as a couple. Have date nights and watch movies together.


Buy something small for your partner to show you appreciate them. You don’t have to find something expensive to give them, it is the thought that counts.

Giving a small gift will show them that you are thinking about them and that you enjoy them.

Write it Down

Take a few minutes and write your partner a note. Just say something nice about them or tell them how much you appreciate them. Writing a note takes more time than texting or calling and this can get the point across that you are thinking about them and you care about them.


Surprises are ways that you can change the regular and do something exciting. Surprises can create memories and they do not have to even be over the top to get your partners attention. Do simple things such as cook a romantic dinner at home or take them out to their favorite restaurant.

The important thing is, is that you do something that is unexpected and that you took time to plan it. You can even do things like have flowers delivered to them or customize a package to be sent to them. Do this on holidays and when there is no special occasion.


Everyone will have arguments and when things that you disagree come up, you need to talk it out. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love each other. There are ways that you can argue and still show love and couples that learn to work through arguments without pointing fingers will have better relationships.

Do not shift blame or focus on your own needs or point fingers. Never just shut down or be defensive but always handle conflict with respect and openness.


Be accountable for things that you do wrong. Admit when you make a mistake. Own up to your responsibilities and learn to say sorry when you do something wrong.

We all make mistakes, and we are all vulnerable sometimes. Even if it is uncomfortable, do what is right so that you do not mess up the relationship.

Both parties in the relationship should be accountable. Do not be afraid of hurting your partner but always be open when you talk.


Love has to have boundaries. Without boundaries people become codependent. Know where the person comes from and what they are doing but do not follow them around or take away their freedom. Learn to give your partner a chance to go out with their friends or to visit their family.

It is okay if your partner has different hobbies than you do. Let them. Let them go bowling while you go to a cooking class or encourage them to go out with their friends. Let them learn to take care of themselves and to enjoy life.

Ask Their Feelings

Ask your partner what they need from you and about their feelings. We sometimes get wrapped up in what we want that we forget to ask our partner what they want.

Talk to them and show them love and understand what your partner enjoys. Take time to know what turns them on and makes them happy. Everyone has their own love language, and you need to learn what your partners love language is.

Love your partner according to how they want to be love and know what they want. Be attentive to their needs and show them that you care about what they are feeling.

Leave a Reply