Being a narcissist is not the same as having a lot of self-confidence even though we sometimes call them that when they post a lot of pictures or they are overly confident in themselves.
Being a narcissist means that someone has a mental condition and with this condition comes the traits of:
- Feeling overly important.
- Having a need for a lot of attention.
- Not being compassionate with others.
- Having problems int their relationship.
Some therapists feel that narcissists are selfish and that they put others at the expense of their own feelings.
Some personality disorders cause people to have problems in their life and there has to be certain criteria for the mental disorder to be classified. Here are some of the criteria:
- Feeling overly important.
- Living in a fantasy world.
- Believing that no one is like them.
- Needing to be admired.
- Exploiting others.
- Having no empathy.
- Being jealous of others.
- Being arrogant and prideful.
There is a real diagnosis for a narcissist but knowing this does not make it easier to handle their behavior. If you wonder if you are in a relationship with a narcissist and you feel that you are not being treated well in the relationship, you should never try to diagnose them but just learn to get out of the relationship.
Super Sweet…At First
One of the biggest signs that you are dating a narcissist is if they are overly nice to you at first but now, they are not kind at all.
Narcissists often believe that they should be overly appreciated and if you are disappointing them and not giving you all of the attention, they will not feel fulfilled in the relationship.
Remember, this has nothing to do with you and if you are with someone that starts out great and that is fading, be aware and know that you might be in an unhealthy relationship.
If you feel that things are going bad, figure out how to get out and to walk away.
How Great They Are
Are you with someone that is always talking about how great they are? Do they bring up all of the things that they have done, and they are good at? This is because they think they are better than everyone else.
These types of people will exaggerate who they are and will only want to talk about themselves. They will forget that you even exist at times and they will want you to talk about them too.
Compliments
A narcissist will want you to complement them and build them up. They need to be praised and want to know that you think they are great.
These people use others, and they need people to make them feel that they are worthy and that they are powerful. They allow their ego to control them and they want you to do that as well.
People that are self-confident will not need to have all the praise to feel good about themselves, but a narcissist will depend on your praise to help them through. The narcissist will try to punish you for not having good self-confidence.
Compassion
Some people just do not have compassion, but a narcissist will lack any kind of compassion for others. They do not think that other people should have emotions and they will not care if you had a bad day or a fight with your friend. They don’t care if you are mad or sad.
This kind of person will not sympathize with you and will make you feel foolish for your feelings.
Friendships
Narcissists do not hardly ever have long term friendships. They will want to connect with others to make themselves look good, but they will not want to keep these relationships.
They want you to feel guilty if you choose other people, even family, to spend time with and they will mistreat you when you choose to go out.
Does your partner have long term friends and how do they treat the people that you are with? Pay attention to their behavior.
Picking on You
You might find that your partner is always picking on you. They might seem joking at first but then they never let up.
It seems like everything that you do is wrong in their eyes and they put you down or call you names. Maybe they do things that are hurtful to you.
How you react will cause them to act different, but it might cause them to act worse. If they are always insulting you and putting you down, you might need to move on because you are better than they are treating you.
Gaslighting You
Narcissi behavior shows when they want to manipulate you and hurt you. They will accuse you of things that you haven’t done and gaslight you. Here are some things that happen when they gaslight you:
- They make you feel different than who you are.
- They cause you to feel stress and anxiety.
- Take away your confidence.
- Make you wonder if you are overly sensitive.
- Make you feel that you cannot do anything right.
- Make you apologize often.
- You will feel something is wrong.
- You make excuses for how they act.
A narcissist will make you doubt your own thoughts and feelings.
Putting a Name on the Relationship
A narcissist might date you for a long time, but they will never put a label on your relationship. If you ask them, they will just tell you that you know.
Sometimes they will treat you like you are their partner but other times they will not. You may feel that they are flirting with your friends and if you bring it up, they blame you and tell you that you are crazy.
If you don’t’ say anything about how they are acting, they will make you feel that you don’t deserve their respect.
This is a situation that you cannot win in and the only way to win is to get out.
Always Right
When you fight with someone that is a narcissist, you cannot win. They will never compromise with you and they will always make it seem like it is your fault.
If you have a disagreement with them then you will have to accept that they will put you down and that they will not listen. Here are some things that they will do:
- Not understand you.
- Never listen.
- Refuse responsibility for how they treat you.
- Never compromise.
The best thing that you can do for your life is to avoid arguing with the narcissist and get out of the relationship. The less power that you give them, the better your life will be.
They will never feel that they are wrong and so they will never apologize to you.
Here are some situations that they will do but will never admit they were wrong:
- Show up late for dinner reservations.
- Not call you and tell you where they are.
- Cancel plans with you without any notice.
Breaking Up
If you decide to break up with a narcissist, they will panic and they will try to make you stay with them.
At first, they will act like they are sorry and will say that they have changed but the longer you are in the relationship the more you will see that it is all the same.
Lashing Out
When you really decide that the relationship is over, they will lash out at you because they will be angry, and their ego will be hurt.
Remember, everything is about them and they will talk about you or they will date someone else right away to try to make you jealous. Chances are that they will try to befriend your friends so that they can stay in your life.
What to Do if You Are Dating a Narcissist
If you find that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, there are things that you can do to get out of the relationship such as:
- Know that you deserve to be treated better.
- Make your relationships with your family and friends stronger.
- Get a support group.
- Ask them to get help.
- Get therapy for yourself.
You will not be able to change someone that has a mental illness and if you realize that your partner has this disorder, the best thing that you can do is to get out. They will constantly want you to change who you are so that you can make them feel better.
Narcissists have a hard time being fulfilled in their life because they are unhappy. The best thing you can do is to get away and not to explain why. Break up with them once and stay gone.
A narcissist will keep trying to get you back and if you go back to them then you will give them more power over you.
This article is not meant to help you diagnose your relationship, but it gives you a warning if you find that you are in an unhealthy relationship.
Having these signs does not mean that your partner is a narcissist, but you need to make sure that you are in a relationship where you are respected and where you are happy.
