How to get back his attention (without desperation)

How to get back his attention (without desperation.)

Love and crushes are common. Here’s the thing; love is weird and strange. Our feelings can be transient in the way that they come and go like the ocean at various tides. Some of it can be explained by fluctuating hormones, but how do explain someone else random affections?

Look past yourself for a moment. Who knows what they are going through to make them appear aloof? It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you. If you are in the early stages of a romance, it could be just a momentary need for clarity.

How can you fix this? Try one of these:

  • Don’t be so available.

Appearing desperate and needy  by always being available is not attractive. Plus it tells you that you are not as important as your potential partner.  You can still be nice without being a pushover.

  • When you do see him, keep things light.

If you met at work, make arrangements to see him outside of that environment. This is self-preservation so he doesn’t associate the negativity of the work environment with you.  While we are talking about negativity, ask yourself if your conversational tone is upbeat. You may have fallen into the pattern of having a negative tone. You will both be happier if you keep things light.

Let him know you appreciate the things he does for you.

The other side of that is not to expect him to do things for you. Some guys have been taken advantage of by women who only want to use them for status and financial gain. Nothing will make a man run faster than the thought of impending or imminent wedding bells.

Make the first move

Invite him out to someplace he really would like to go. If he is interested in history, see if there is an upcoming exhibit he would like to see. If he is a sports fan, invite him to see an upcoming game. Don’t wait for him to ask you out.  Find a balance of being around him and being around too much.

Get some alone time

Don’t fall into the trap of only seeing each other in a group setting. Give yourself a chance to be vulnerable with each other. This will not only bring you closer but will also build in a sense of trust with each other.   This can only happen if you spend some time alone.

Don’t get exclusive yet, see other people

Don’t wander out and trying to make him jealous. This can work against you. But don’t sign away all rights to see other people. This can spur him into action or show you that there are, indeed, other fish in the sea.

Do some things for you, don’t make him the center of your world.

It’s easy to get caught up in someone else, particularly when it’s the first days of romance. You can spend hours dreaming and hoping about your love.  Its part of the hormonal process.  However, this can make you appear desperate and needy, or worse, make you look like a stalker. Take a minute to focus on the human aspect of them. They are normal and you can love them for their flaws, too.

Don’t isolate yourself because you are in love. Hang out with other people and your friends, do things that you would ordinarily do. Do anything but hang around and wait for him to decide to take you out.  This will keep you from appearing and becoming love-sick.

Something else you can do is self-improvement. Do something for you. Get a massage or a facial, something to celebrate you. This embracing of your self-worth will make you more attractive to him and boost yourself confidence.

Take a look at your life from the self-worth perspective and ask yourself why you want his attention in the first place?  Will the relationship with him make you happy? Is he worth the time and energy you are putting into the process? What enhancement does he bring to your life? If you are looking for a date and not a relationship there is an easier way to go about it.

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