There is a technique known as fast-forwarding when someone grabs you up in a tide of intense wonderfulness as they pursue you or when you are dating. This is not great because things move so quickly and seem so perfect that you may miss crucial red flags along the way. Then they will begin to panic over all you may want, need or expect because of their behavior so far and disappear.
This is because to that point they have truly been putting on a show. Some may simply change overnight, like a switch was flipped, and revert to the real them. This will be like pulling the rug out from under you as they turn into someone almost unrecognizable.
Those who are fast forwarders may show the following signs:
- Pushing for an emotional commitment and/or sex very quickly
- Making you feel like you are the center of their world very quickly
- Keeping you distracted
- Emotionally demanding of you and your time
- Almost immediately start discussing marriage, children, moving in together
- Almost immediately introduce you to family and friends
- Insist it feels like you have known each other much longer or it feels like it
- Pouts when they do not get their way
- Ignore or test boundaries
- Too persistent when being ignored
- Calls you “the one” quickly
- Demands commitment
- Deflects questions, overshares, and uses selective omissions on and off
Those who are fast-forwarders are future fakes because what they are offering cannot be realistically maintained. It is critical that you remember dating is a time of discovery about the other person. You should feel comfortable with the other person and use interactions to gauge their trustworthiness. You must not blindly love or trust anyone because at some point the truth will be revealed and it can come as a shock if you are not prepared. Slowing things down can lead to a healthier relationship. While whirlwind romances that last do exist, they are rare.
Getting caught up in a fast-forward relationship can leave you wondering what happened when the other person disappears, but it is not your fault. Do not allow yourself to lose confidence over someone who was not being genuine. These people are intense and it is easy to get drawn into the intensity. This is especially true when the person puts you on a pedestal and seems to want you in their lives at all times.
The people who fast forward struggle with steadiness. They can be over the top for a time, but run when it is time to decide if this can continue or must be left behind. It can almost be a game to see how interested they can get you, but once they have, it is no longer fun. While it can be nice to be adored, these are not people that will stick around for a year or two, probably not more than a month or two. If something feels too good to be true, take a step back an look for signs something may be off.
If you are a fast-forwarder then sit down and really think about your dating habits. You are constantly setting yourself up for failure if you set the bar sky high and think it can be reached long term. Figure out why you demand so much of others. If needed seek professional help. This is behavior that can be change, but it will take work.